Proverbs 13:12 (ESV) “Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a desire fulfilled is the tree of life. “
When I was working a regular 8 to 5 job outside of the house, I used to wake up between 4:30 and 5 to have my quiet time with the Lord. I know what you must be thinking… 4:30… AM??? The cows aren’t even up yet!!! But for me, the morning is the best time for me to hear God’s voice. It is also the absolute best way for me to start my day…. filling my “tank” with love from the Father. Believe me…everyone benefits from me having my quiet time first! Truthfully…I am a better person to be around.
Anyway, one morning about 8 years ago, my son had other plans for my morning routine. He accidentally wet the bed and was up in full force at 4:10… UGH! 4:30 is one thing but 4:10 that was entirely too early. After cleaning him and his bed, I turned the TV on got him his traditional breakfast of muffins and milk. I had high hopes of returning to my quiet time so I tried to read Proverbs 13 through one time. Of course the operative word in that last sentence is tried. But the “damage” had been done and my morning routine was out of sorts. I found myself thinking “this is hopeless.” I had my owned agenda for the morning; I wanted to spend time in the word and then the few minutes I had writing. I also felt hopeless over the fact that my typical morning had been messed up.
When I arrived at work that very same morning I found the office empty. I decided to read back over Proverbs 13. I could definitely relate to the words in verse 12 “Hope deferred makes the heart sick.” My morning routine had been messed up and I had given up all hope that I would find time to have my quiet time and write. A series of thoughts crossed my mind “how I am supposed to start my day off on the right foot when I can’t have my quiet time?” My mind raced as the thoughts ballooned from there.
Is anyone relating to me right now?
That morning at my office, God spoke in the quietness there… “how many times do you actually get to have the extra bit of time with Niko?”
Ouch! That STUNG!
Yes my apple cart might have gotten upset, but it’s only one morning. When my son called for me to come and sit with him, I closed my Bible and enjoyed the extra time I had with him. I have often said that I wish I didn’t have to work a full time job so I can spend more time with Nikolas. But if I look at this morning a different way, I can see that God was giving me time to spend with my son. It might not have been how I planned to spend my morning, but it was our special time in the quietness of the morning hours.
To this day, the “tree” of my life is full of answered prayer for my son. God truly did give me the desires of my heart when Nikolas became a part of our family. He has brought me such joy and life and I cherish each moment God gives me with him. I think I need to keep this thought in mind…especially now… he’s headed into his teen years and sometimes I really do think aliens have invaded his body and taken my sweet boy away… ha ha ha!
Seriously though, I know God is faithful and my hope is in HIM not the circumstances of navigating the “teen years” I see right in front of me.
Hope’s Anthem by Bethel Church is a GREAT reminder to me that when my hope is in God alone…I cannot be shaken or moved.